How to Tomorrowland

“There are fireworks! HEART fireworks?! Just random fireworks? Every night?? And that dragon is on fire AND breathing cold water vapor…wtf is this place?”

We were in no way prepared for the unbridled insanity of Tomorrowland. Yes, it’s huge. Every single day we danced and walked about 14 miles, so a little over a half marathon. Every day. for four days. Even though 180,000 people attend this debauchery, and the General Camping (or “peasant camping” as we came to call it after seeing the upgrade options) is densely packed, the festival grounds themselves don’t feel overcrowded.

As a regular human that doesn’t workout, add in the sun burn and the steady diet of Vodka and fries, you sort of feel like a stud for being alive after 4 days of wrecking your body at the EDM amusement park that is Tomorrowland.

I could probably write numerous posts about the process of getting tickets, the lottery system, finding deals to get to Europe and back, getting to Boom for the festival, getting OUT of Boom after – and I may yet – but here’s the highlight reel of our Tomorrowland 2017 experience.

  1. Australians. Specifically the ones from Perth. PRO TIP: find a group of Aussies and kick it with them – 110% chance of “best time ever”.
  2. The Lost Frequencies Stage.
  3. Fireworks every damn day
  4. teeny tiny AlisonWonderland getting carried onto the stage by Shaq, I mean DJ Diesel. (why does Shaq need a DJ moniker? Can’t he just be Shaq?)
  5. The Dragon Stage. We loved hanging out on the grass under the shade of the dragon wings, the short walk to the bar, and every day the lineup was FIRE.
  6. The Chainsmokers on the Main Stage.
  7.  Hookah lounge hangouts in Dreamville.
  8.  Sam Feldt, Saint WKND, Yellow Claw, Nervo, the list goes on. There is no better lineup of every possible EDM genre and artist you could imagine. I needed 3 clones of myself to actually see everyone I wanted to see. The great part though, is even if you don’t see EVERYONE, you’ll still have such amazing experiences you’ll never recall who you didn’t see. I know I don’t.
  9. The food. so many options. We paid for the morning breakfast buffet in Dreamville, started out healthy with all the fruit and smoothies and juice, and ended the nights with ALL THE FRIES. all of them.
  10. The sweet people of Boom. While walking to our shuttle bus folks from Boom were just hanging out, handing out little mementos. A sweet older lady gave us each paper poppies she was making and giving away. The town welcomes the festival, clearly, with Tomorrowland flags hanging from many of the windows as you drive in, and tons of welcoming signs on lawns and in windows.

Other memorable moments and some pro tips for first timers…

LAKE SWAMPTOPIA: We woke up to all the tents around us completely flooded with run off from the showers. I don’t know how we got so lucky, but our tent was an island of dry land in the middle of the grossest mucky swamp. We paid for the tent and mattress and sleeping bags to be available at the site when we got there, but we still had to pick our camping spot and set it all up. It was MILES from the entrance to Dreamville to our eventual camp spot.

PRO TIP: Get there early and splurge on a wagon to haul all your stuff. I love my Tomorrowland partner more than anything, but by the end of the weekend packing up and hauling all our stuff to the shuttle bus made me want to drown him in the shower water swamp. I had lost all hope and patience. DELUXE TIP: don’t camp in Peasant Camping. Get the pre-set tent or if you can manage it, a cabana. No flooding over there. 

HARDSTYLE needs to DIE: Dance a half marathon, shamble back to your tent, climb into your tent and start falling asleep…and then, out of nowhere, HARDSTYLE  blasting at 3am. On Saturday morning I woke up with extreme charlie horses in both calves, freezing, a torrential downpour threatening to cave in our little tent, and hardstyle blaring. I thought I’d woken up to my own personal hell. PRO TIP: Stay as far as away as possible from the group that trekked their own amp into the campsite – there is ZERO chance they’re not going to use it, and 85% chance they love Hardstyle.  100% chance they also love Ricky Martin at 6am.  DELUXE TIP: Bring your own damn amp, great ear plugs, and 6 hours of whale songs.

PLAN YOUR EXIT WELL: I booked our train tickets from Antwerp to Paris 5 months in advance. I’m so glad I did. The amount of people trying to get last minute tickets out, trying to decipher the ticket purchasing process (so MANY windows)…not fun when you’re filthy and tired. PRO TIP: tickets are available 3-6 months in advance, depending on your rail line/destination. figure out that timeline right after you secure your Tomorrowland tickets.

Everybody pays for their cellphone plan and no one gets lost: My festie bestie spent 30 mins looking for me on the same patch of hillside. He just went to the bathroom, but in that time so many people had flooded our side of the mainstage that he couldn’t find me. I was rocking the loudest purple blue and green dreadlocks piled into a monster beacon of a dread bun, and he couldn’t find me. PRO TIP: just pay for the international cell and data plan, because Uber, because Festival crowds, because you don’t want to get lost on a hill with 80,000 people. The WIFI at the festival is utter crap and clearly completely stretched to its max.

Last shower opportunity is on Sunday. Do it.

 

 

 

 

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